Three in One (places, that is)

Something is missing. My mind is all too often racing with incomplete thoughts and ideas. As I mull over recent events, I interrupt myself with ideas for planning the future. And fast! It’s all very fast.

I can’t believe I’m a nurse now.
I need to make a car payment.
Remember that guy Ryan? That was promising. Too bad it didn’t precipitate.
I wonder what it’s like to be married? I’d probably wish I was single.
I love my friends.
I really should keep closer to my budget.
I need to make a budget.

I call them fragments. Frags, for short because it sounds like an ailment you acquire that you don’t want to talk about. I got the frags. Gross. But it’s true. They are fragmented thoughts that have no beginning and no end, orphaned from any productive place and seemingly going nowhere. Then there is also the backdrop of a sense of fear concerning the future and compulsive urgency to strategize against impending loss. I guess I’m at a place in life where I need some slowing down. I’m feeling the effects of my hurriedness in my inner world. It’s just too much to tease apart.

I like to write, not because I’m especially great at it, but mostly because it’s an avenue for me to be emotional. And the idea that someone out there is listening/reading is motivating for me even if I’m just deluded into thinking that’s the case.

So here I go; I’m going to try and describe the frags as I experience them from this one place in my life.

Interestingly, I share my week between three different places, driving to and from three different counties. And yet, it’s a very distinct place I’m in now: transition. Transitioning into…well I don’t know. And it’s fair to say it’s really stressing me out. ☺

I’m comforted by the fact that in my short (long) life, I’ve been many places. And my God in whom I trust, always goes there before me.

The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place. Deuteronomy 1:30-31

In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. John 14:2

So be still my frags. He’s in this place with us right now.